Get Back to Who You Are

"So are you going to find a nanny?" I asked Reesy, my best friend for over 20 years. She stared at the painting on the wall, then bit her bottom lip.

"A new mom with triplets needs a nanny or some help at least". I said. Forcing a laugh while wiping Joshua's spit-up from her sweater, she said, "I've got this. I don't need a nanny. Who needs a nanny when I've got you?"

We both laughed. I've always known Reesy to be a tough cookie. She tackles challenges like a linebacker yet does it all with the spirit and grace of a ballerina. Don't ask me how.

"Yeah, but I won't always be around to help you," I ushered. "You need someone here full-time. Like one of those live-in nannies or something." I picked up Michah from his cradle and rocked him back to sleep.

As women, many of us would be quite successful working as professional jugglers. Our ability to tackle many things at once rivals that of the most talented actresses. But the challenge comes when our once in a while juggling act becomes our default mode and a way of life.

We get so used to living on the edge, that when we do stop to smell the roses, we realize we no longer know who we are. We check out our reflection in the mirror, only to see a stranger staring back that we've never introduced ourselves to.

The faster we run, the more we lose focus and clarity and the more conflicted we become. Yet, focusing is the one crucial need for women who spend time rushing to meet demands from family and work. But what does it mean to focus?

Spiritual leaders say to focus means to find your center and listen to your intuition. Some gurus say focusing means to get back to who you are, what you want and what you love to do. You may not be juggling the care of two-month-old triplets, but we all have demands that eat away at our time and steal our focus.

When the demands of life weigh in on me, whether it's from a demanding boss, a boyfriend, or a client, I pull back to regain focus. I spend a few minutes or sometimes days reconnecting with the spiritual part of me. I do this to be sure my actions are coming from a place that feels real, genuine, and true.

When I'm out of alignment or feeling disconnected from my creative center, I'm "out of kilter, " "spaced out," or feeling "out of sorts." These feelings are clues that I am no longer "at home" or "in tune" with my inner being. It also means that it's time for me to check in, regroup and get back to the core of who I am.

When I was younger, my idea of reconnecting was to pack up all my things and move back home to my parent's house. And I did this several times, shedding my belongings, only to move out of my parents and start all over again. With maturity, I've learned there are cheaper ways to come back "home" to self, without needing to pack up and move home.

Now when I'm rushed or stressed, I first sip a cup of warm water with a squeezed lemon, relax and then I meditate. I like to do this on my bed or while taking a relaxing bubble bath. I then think about the angel goddess Vesta who has a lot to give us in return for what we give others.

Goddess Vesta is the one who urges us to be quiet and still. She reminds us to gaze, to listen and to prepare delicious meals. She encourages us to bring beauty into our daily lives and to live through our senses.

She nudges us to create a haven of security and serenity apart from the world to protect what we cherish.

Vesta is the ancient goddess who calls on us to focus our creative energies on the Real. Centering within, focusing, connecting with your goddess energy creates flow. As you learn to slow down and shut out the chaos, you begin to concentrate your creative energies in ways that bring you joy.

Nurture your gifts, honor your divinity, practice self-love daily. Demands on your time will come and go. Make time to create and make time for you.

With love,

Ayokemi